You Go, Shannyn Moore

It ain't libel if it's the truth.

Many thanks to my favorite snarky blog, Wonkette, for the snarky image. 

Update: I was just called a foul word on Twitter, by a Palin supporter (MaxwellSmart99, who is clearly a class act all the way); a word which I argued, just after the election on this very blog, should not be used against Palin as its use degrades all women. Kind of tells you something about the right, and about the left. 

Bacardi Markets to Women by Insulting Women

Usually my complaints against mysogynistic advertising feel rather toothless, as I am not much of a shopper, so most products that offend me are things I wouldn't be buying anyway.  Bacardi's new ad campaign  gives me an opportunity to vote with my purse: I am exactly the person to whom this ad is targeted. Let's see, which chick drinks do I feel like this week? Smirnoff Ice, maybe one of the fruit flavors? Twisted Tea? Mike's Hard Lemonade? I can tell you right now that it won't be Bacardi Breezers. In their new promotion for summer, Get An Ugly Girlfriend, Bacardi offers drollery playing on women's supposed competitiveness, suggesting that to look more attractive, we ought to choose a less attractive woman to hang around with this summer. Example: 

Daisy is perfect for BBQ with friends. The aquiline nose and tangled eyebrows will make you the most desirable piece of meat around the grill. Watching your weight? One look at the pimples shoulders, and your appetite is gone.

 

I don't know what offends me more about these ads: the suggestion that women are so concerned about our appearance that we might choose our friends to enhance it; the notion of "woman as accessory;" the implicit comparison between any two women who happen to be together -- after all, you wouldn't want to BE the ugly friend, now, would you? -- or the fact that they have chosen perfectly nice-looking women to label "ugly."

They do appear to be women who are not "dolling up:" reaching for the cultural ideal of beauty, which is physical perfection at all times. They dare to look like themselves, and not try to squash into somebody else's very narrow notion  of what is attractive; they are therefore punished with derision. 

It feels so good to say, I will not be buying any more Bacardi products. I used to buy them, and now I am stopping. Because I am not an accessory or a piece of meat by the grill, and my friends are people I like. 

Sluggish Weather

The chill, damp weather we've been having has resulted in a boom year for slugs. If you've been noticing chewed leaves, chances are these nasty little beasts are the culprits. If you are seeing strings of sticky mucous left on blossoms, then you have a positive ID: slugs are the perpetrators.
Slugs have very catholic tastes, and will destroy the blooms of some plants, such as the ever-blooming daylily variety Stella D'oro, and the foliage of others. Hosta are susceptible, although never has hosta been killed by slug; the tattered leaves are unsightly, however. If you are a vegetable gardener, you have a special reason to hate the slimeballs: bean and pepper seedlings can be eaten right down to the stems, and usually do not recover.
Hand picking is a particularly disgusting job when the pests are coated in sticky mucous, but if you go that route, it's best to get out in the early morning, or even while it is still dark, as they are most active at night. I prefer to prevent them reaching my plants at all, by using one of three deterrents:
1) Wood Ash. Unlike many other garden pests, slugs are not insects and do not have an exoskeleton. Basically their entire bodies are sensitive mucous membranes. Slugs seem disinclined to crawl over wood ash sprinkled in a circle around the base of their favorite plants, perhaps because of its caustic qualities. Drawback: the ash easily washes away in the rain, and needs to be replaced often.
2)Eggshells. Variation on a theme; the crushed shells have sharp edges, and so the slugs don't like to crawl on them. Drawback: it takes a lot of eggs to make enough shell to protect all of your plants. Unless you work in a diner and can bring some home, you have to start saving your shells in the fall to have enough for spring. Works great, though, and it's free.
3) Insulating brick dust. This also works great and only requires one of two applications a season, but if you aren't a potter, where are you gonna get insulating brick? You could try someplace like Lewiston Refractories or Portland Pottery. They'd be happy to sell you two softbrick. Once you've got them, you take your two brick and walk around the perimeter of your garden, and between rows, depending on how big it is, rubbing the two brick together, to leave a crumby trail of brick dust. Slugs won't cross it.
None of these methods have harmful environment effects.

If they take you by surprise, slugs can do a lot of damage, but as a pest, I prefer tehm to earwigs, because there's really not much you can do to discourage their attentions.

Life Without Health Insurance

Like 47 million of my fellow Americans, I live without health insurance. I have a part-time job to supplement my self-employment, and the employer-sponsered plan would cost more than my monthly mortgage payment to cover my husband and myself. So far my lucky penny and a nightly prayer have warded off most illnesses and injuries, but it is an eternal truth that shit happens, and sometimes it happens to us.

Though I pride myself on resourcefulness, there is really no substitute for professional health care; not that I haven't tried. Got a weird rash? Take an oatmeal bath, or break open an aloe leaf, and apply the gel. Menstrual cramps that won't quit? Yoga and raspberry leaf tea ought to help. Insomnia? Try chamomile. My husband suffers from a recurrant back pain at times so severe that he is immobilized. He has tried to learn and avoid the kinds of motion that might trigger it, but sometimes it strikes anyway. The last time he lay supine and paralyzed with pain, I drove across town to a creepy tenament building where, it was said, one could purchase prescription painkillers. I expect the ususal clients did not put them to their intended use; I found a black humor in the fact that I was there to illegally purchase painkillers, to do nothing other than kill pain, just as the doctor would have ordered had there been a doctor involved.

We often rely on Doctor Google to diagnose our symptoms, a notoriouly fallible method, and one likely to offer diagnoses on a multiple choice plan. I am currently suffering from pain in one shoulder (it was both, but the right has improved. A good sign!) and a loss of perhaps half my range of motion. I can't raise my arm above shoulder height, or reach behind my back. Doc G says it could be osteoarthritis, but it came on rather suddenly. Or it could be bursitis, but I don't remember an injury. It could also be tendinitis, rotator cuff injury, adhesive capsulitis, and loss of joint cartilage. I choose to call it B) bursitis, but that's just a guess. Arthritis sounds too scary, and the others need explantion if you use them in conversation. I am treating it with glucosamine chondroitin, on a pharmacist's recommendation, and with massage, ice, and an abundance of caution. I also quit wearing clothes that zip or button in the back, and cut my shoulder length hair up to my ears, because I couldn't take care of it well enough with just one hand.  

Is this ridiculous? Yes, of course. Possibly stretching could help, but it might also make it worse, seeing as I don't know what the problem is. A cortisone shot might fix it right up, but that would probably involve at least three visits to at least two doctors, as well as a big pile of testing, and physical therapy, all of which is out of the question economically. 

One of the scare stories I have heard arguing why we should not have government funded health care was an anecdote about a woman in Canada who had to wait a year to see her specialist. Oh, a year, huh? Well, a year doesn't sound too bad if the other choice is never. The other point I hear brought up is that people want to choose their doctors. There's no reason why a government funded program should prevent that, but the argument irks me, while there are still so many people who aren't free to see any doctor at all, never mind one of their choosing. 

I am eager to hear the details of the President's plan for health care, although he has already stated it is not a single-payer plan, which I would have preferred. So far I have heard a lot of naysaying and resistance but nobody seems to have a plan. The alternative plan seems to be the status quo: Can't afford health insurance? Gee, sucks to be you. 

Conservatives Rally to Get Letterman Fired

Good luck with that.

Pet Appreciation Week

Practically every week is National Something week. In addition to being National Clay Week, a topic dear to my heart, it is also Pet Appreication Week -- a topic even dearer. Here, in order of age, are the beasts that populate our home:

Big and Red, Turtles. Sliders to be exact. We don't know how old they are but we think they are at least twenty. I appreciate Big and Red for their beauty and undemanding nature. Also, they're just so cute!!

General Chamberlain is 18, and I appreciate his quiet nature.

William the Tolerant, who is eleven.  There are cat-cats and there are people cats. William is that rare cat who is both, and for that I appreciate him.
Queequeg, the newest addition to our household. Qq is seven, and I appreciate him for his quick mind and endearing devotion.

Petey and Happy Jack and Fiona are a trio of loving, affectionate littermates whom I apppreiate for the constant comedy their interactions provide.
What do you appreciate about your pets?

Mint Grapefruit Sorbet

SERVES 2  
This is a wonderfully refreshing treat for summer. The recipe makes just enough for two. I've got fresh mint growing like a weed in my garden -- perfect. 

Ingredients
1/2 cup sugar
1/2 cup water
1/2 cup fresh mint leaves, and stems
1/2 cup fresh grapefruit juice (pink or green)
fresh mint sprig (to garnish)

Directions

 
In a saucepan, combine sugar, water, mint leaves and stems; bring to a boil, lower heat and simmer for 5 minutes; remove from heat, cover and let cool.
 
Pour grapefruit juice and cooled mint mixture into a blender or food processor and blend well. Strain and transfer mixture to a shallow pan, cover and freeze until firm.
 
Transfer frozen mixture to a blender or food processor again and blend well. Freeze again in the shallow pan.
 
When ready to serve, use a melon baller and place 3 scoops in a stemmed glass, garnish with a sprig of fresh mint and serve.

Janet Napolitano was Right

...and the right was wrong. Again. Remember that report back in April that generated all the faux umbrage from Republican lawmakers? The one that warned of a rise in ring-wing violence in response to economic difficulties, and the election of our first Black president? In light of the recent murders of an abortion provider and of a guard at the Holocaust Museum, by known right-wing extremists, I rather think some people owe Janet Napolitano an apology. Starting with John McCain.  And Tim Pawlenty.  Oh, and Newt Gingrich.  They were quick to publically take offense; but now listen to the crickets chirping.


"The current economic and political climate has some similarities to the 1990s when right-wing extremism experienced a resurgence fueled largely by an economic recession, criticism about the outsourcing of jobs and the perceived threat to U.S. power and sovereignty by other foreign powers," the report reads. I can think of one other similarity to the 1990s: we have a progressive administration in power. It demonstrates what we've always sensed: that there are far more bullies on the right, to whom Democracy means little. If things don't go their way politically, they'll go ahead and start killing to get their own way.

The report goes on to state that while left wing extremists do exist, they prefer to do economic damage to business to further their aims: "Their no-harm doctrine includes claiming to ensure the safety of humans, animals and the environment even as they attack businesses and associated operations," the report reads.

Tells you something, doesn't it? For the most part, even the extremists on the left don't want anyone to get hurt. 

5-Minute Mug Cake

Here's another gem from my Inbox: 

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE
4 tablespoons flour
4 tablespoons sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa
1 egg
3 tablespoons milk
3 tablespoons oil
3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)
A small splash of vanilla extract
1 large coffee mug (MicroSafe)

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well. 
Add the egg and mix thoroughly. 
Pour in the milk and oil and mix well.. 
Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again. 
Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts. 
The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed! 
Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.

EAT! (this can serve 2 if you want to feel SLIGHTLY more virtuous). 

I'm gonna try this tomorrow -- will post photos then.

*Okay, I lied about the photos, but not about trying the recipe, and the verdict is: It's okay, but not great. It's a very dense cake, and a little dry. I suggest a bit of chocolate syrup.

From My Inbox

"I fear Sotomayor would favor those who share her background." "Just so."

The Right on Twitter on Tiller

Here's what so-called pro-lifers have to say about the murder of Kansas abortion provider Dr. Tiller,  just in the last hour:

cannedmonkey: I'm sorry for the anger today but this mock sympathy for Tiller makes me want to puke. It's like taking out the baby killing Hitler.

samishamieh: Tiller was a baby killer, a true monster like Godzilla. Now he’s dead and a coffin filler. His killer deserves an ice cold Miller. #tcot

cannedmonkey: I, seriously, don't care if i loose "followers" for this but may Tiller rot in hell.

Alexfyoung: Since Dr. George Tiller killed on a daily basis, he should not had been surprised when it came home to roost! No sympathy here...

cannedmonkey: I NEVER would have had the guts to pull the trigger on Tiller - DESPITE the impending thanks from the babies he killed in Heaven.

FilmDoctor: A baby's heart begins to beat 18-28 days after conception. Abortion is real torture, America. And George Tiller killed them in late term!

mattmorimoto: Dr. Tiller: you live by murder, you die by murder.

seamandj: Tiller shot dead in house of peace, Obama is shocked and outraged. No shock or outrage about late term abortions though? LBTSDBTS..KARMA?


samishamieh: The car of Tiller the baby killer was filled with bondo body filler.

DucKroll530: I can't feel sorry for George Tiller. It's hard to justify the existence of a genocidaire such as him; I just fear the backlash it'll cause.

caffeine_addict: If town pillar Tiller was a tortilla eating miller, not a baby killer he wouldn't have been shot by an iller killer-now he's a coffin filler
about 1 hour ago from web

samishamieh: The guy who shot Tiller the baby killer was a good shot. Maybe it was murder, maybe not.

To my way of thinking, George tIller was a true hero. He devoted himself to doing what her thought was right, in the face of violence and threats of violence. In the end he gave his life. These right -wing freaks are revealing htemselves for the haters they are in the wake of his murder.

Star Trek Reboot

Spoiler Alert: if you haven't seen the new movie, read no further.

I am a Trekkie since early adolescence, which makes Kirk my first captain, albeit in reruns, but I am more a TNG fan. The original series, despite its groundbreaking qualities for its time, is mainly entertaining for the purposes of ridiculing Shatner's wooden acting, and the absurd plot lines. (Nevertheless, I maintain that Mr. Spock is one of the greatest characters ever created for television.) TNG has its share of absurd plots and poor actors as well, but part of me wishes to live in the Star Trek universe, where honorable behavior is the norm. (As soon as I met him, I married a man as much like Captain Picard as I could find, with the added bonus of hair, and a sense of humor.) TNG could not exist without the orginal series, though, and knowing the backstory of the one means understanding the other. One of the things I have always enjoyed about the Star Trek Uinverse is its internal consistency. The creators take pains not to carelessly present information or characterizations which contradict earlier iterations. 

Since I have no great admiration for William Shatner's portrayal of James Tiberius Kirk, I was not among the resistant or skeptical greeting the new movie, or the new faces of old characters. I was, however, surprised when it appeared that the writers were violating canon. Kirk's father did not die on the day of his birth! Spock did not write the Kobayashi Maru scenario which Kirk defeats through cheating, or thinking outside the box, depending on how you look at it. (In fact Spock never even took a Kobayashi Maru test, never mind wrote one!) And so on. The truth was much more clever, of course; the writers instead created a new-time-line scenario, in which, essentially at the moment of Kirk's birth, a villian from a far-flung future alters the timeline. I kept waiting for them to put it right, as always happens in Star Trek stories; when they did not I admit to being quite shocked, especially as I walked out of the theatre, processing the implications. Just think: Harry Mudd never existed. The Squire of Gothos, never encountered. And, further, since the series are all connected: Lt. Commander Data, never created. The massacre at Kittamar, where Worf was orphaned? Never happened. No Wolf 359. Young Annika Hansen was never assimilated by the Borg. The Q continuum exists outside of time and so would, presumably, be unaffected by the new reality, but everything else? Poof -- gone. 

The device is genius, of course. Kirk, Spock, and McCoy, together again, young and handsome, with their lives and adventures to live over again, with the same or different outcomes.  But I feel a sort of minor grief that the histories I know so well, from so many iterations, are rendered moot, because now they never happened.

Yeah, yeah, I know: they never happened in the first place, being fictional. And I will greedily watch any new movies or TV series that are born from this beginning. 

But I'd like to think that, somewhere in the new timeline, Data gets created anyway.