16 Things, the Cultural Myths Edtion

I posted yesterday that I have a niece turning 16 this year, which got me thinking about all the things I wish I had known when I was 16; things that would have saved me a great deal of trouble. But, like Dorothy and the ruby slippers, I probably wouldn't have believed anyone who tried to tell me. Although, speaking of that - if you were Dorothy, wouldn't you have been a little bit peeved at Glinda? "You made me go through the flying monkeys and all that other bullshit, when I could have just wished my way home all along? Oh, I wouldn't have believed you if you'd told me? Well, friggin' try me why dontcha? You didn't even try!"

Anyway. Here am I, Glinda, giving Dorothy the heads-up.

There are a number of things specific to being a girl that I wish I had known when I was 16. The world fills your head with a lot of silly ideas about being female, and then you try to use them to live by, and fall on your face, and you think it's your fault. It's not. Like this:

1. Contrary to popular notions, men are not rendered helpless in the face of female sexuality. It's not due to any lacks of charms on your part. It doesn't work for anyone, except in the movies. It's just that even a man who very much enjoys female attention will probably see through an attempt to use it manipulatively. People don't like to be manipulated.
2. Romantically speaking, beauty is overrated. I know this is a tough one to believe, since the messages are constant and ubiquitous: that you can never be beautiful enough, that no one will love you if you are not, that beauty is some kind of innoculant against rejection. These are all false. beauty is great for attracting romantic attention, and absolutely, totally fucking useless for keeping it. with that in mind:
3. Romantically speaking, interesting is better than pretty. And the best way to seem interesting is to actually be interesting. Read things, have experiences, have conversations with people like, and different from, yourself. This has an additional advantage of making for an interesting life, while it is making you an interesting person.
   
4. "True love" has never fixed anyone. If a guy acts like a jerk, he's not waiting to meet the right person. He's just a jerk. The myth of the transformative power of a woman's love is just a way to blame women when men act badly. But, with that in mind:
   
5. Men are pretty much like women. For the most part, they don't want to hurt anyone. This absolutely does not mean that no one will get hurt. I can guarantee, you're gonna get hurt, and you're gonna hurt people. The only way to avoid this is to never talk to anyone, ever.
   

That's what I got, for now.